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Jim Carrey patently isn't one: 'A what is fatty very damp man,' says Sally. 'It's sad to see, to imagine the emotional distress.' Sally's clientele, usually men, what is fatty are those cursed with pits of hell. 'Hyperhydrosis is the medical term for excessive sweating,' explains Sam, easing my topless form down onto a gurney. 'Men leave here saying it's the best money they ever spent.' It's not just the pits' Sally adds, angling her creaseless face critically into my scarred, bald and lividly tinted underarms. 'Businessmen get their palms done, for a what is fatty dry handshake. And at Oscars time, actresses have their insoles treated'. Crucified before the mirror, I observe that my underarms are unblemished, arid and taut as plastic, a nauseating juxtaposition with the haggard man-flesh above and below. My armpits have sold their glands to the devil, been granted the elixir of hairless, odourless pre-pubescence.
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